My So Called Life

When an American adult reaches a certain age, he or she typically has something to show for it. A family/children, a career, both, an advanced degree, something. While I'm slowly obtaining my advanced degree, it sometimes strikes me that I really have nothing to put on my "life's resume". When I was younger, I had always envisioned having this fabulous, glamorous career, a wonderful family, you know, the typical "American dream" by the time I reached my current age (28). Instead it appears (on paper, at least) that I have only a string of dead-end jobs under my belt.

Until recently, I felt embarrassed and frustrated by this. Lately, though, I have been seeing my work experiences in a much different way. I'm looking more at how each job I've had has impacted my life instead of how it impacted my work history. Right now I'm working in a library putting books away. Some people think this sounds like the most boring job there ever was in existence, and some even poke fun or laugh at it, but whatever...I like it. But more than me liking it, it is honestly teaching me one of the most valuable life lessons I may ever learn. Basically my job entails putting books away and just when I think I've got most of them put away, more get returned. It's a little like Sisyphus pushing his rock up that hill or Groundhog Day. It could be really easy to get discouraged by not being able to ever actually finish the work. The way I am choosing to look at this, though, is as a great big metaphor for life. Just when you think you're almost done, more shows up. You could throw your hands in the air out of exasperation and quit, OR you could accept the fact that you can never stop working toward your goal, even if it changes, and you have to keep moving forward. Maybe it's hard or frustrating, but you just have to keep pushing through. Once I realized how this simple metaphor fit my life, I honestly felt like things were just a bit easier. It also took me an extra step closer to finding the real, true me.

Each job I've had has taught me something, even when viewing it in retrospect. My thinking is that how in the world was I supposed to have a career and/or be a mother if I had no clue who I was? Over the past year, I have grown so much. I feel like I learned to start listening to myself. I learned how to not try to force myself to do things I know I wasn't ever meant to do. I learned to embrace lots of things about myself. I learned that I will forever be a work in progress, from the day I was born until the day I will die. I will never be finished. Just like the books.

So, while I may not have a picture perfect life that our culture tricked me into believing I needed to have, I have MY life. And it's pretty damned great.

My very first blog

I have found lately that I seem to have a lot of random thoughts rolling around in my head with no place to put them. I've tried journaling, but don't really care for it for several reasons. So, I thought I'd try out a blog and see what happens. I imagine it will become a place where some things of no substance and some things of importance and everything in between will be shared. I also envision pictures I've taken will make an appearance here.

As of right now, I'm having a bit of trouble deciding exactly where to begin. I have lots of things to say. I know it's not possible to always be thinking about the present, but I think I want to do my best to focus on the present, although I'm sure things about the past or future will occupy my mind from time to time. I'm also hoping that this blog will have an overall positive slant to it, as I have decided to place a quota on the amount of negativity I let into my life these days. It just feels so much better to be happy, don't you think?